Nobody liked your project idea, so we are not going to give you any funding. The first version is a weaker statement, emphasizing facts not directly relevant to its point. The second version provides the information in a simple and direct manner. But you don’t need to be an expert on style to know that the first phrasing is diplomatic and respectful (even though it’s less concise) as compared with the second version, which is unnecessarily harsh and likely to provoke a negative reaction.
If your intent is to persuade the recipient in some way, whether it's to invest money, give you a reference, hire you, partner with you, or fix an issue, create a compelling case for your cause. If, for example, you want the reader to sponsor a charity event, identify any overlap with their company’s philanthropic goals. Convince the reader that helping you would be mutually beneficial, and you will increase your chances of winning their support. Keep your closing paragraph to two sentences. Simply reiterate your reason for writing and thank the reader for considering your request.