Nobody liked your project idea, so we are not going to give you any funding. The first version is a weaker statement, emphasizing facts not directly relevant to its point. The second version provides the information in a simple and direct manner. But you don’t need to be an expert on style to know that the first phrasing is diplomatic and respectful (even though it’s less concise) as compared with the second version, which is unnecessarily harsh and likely to provoke a negative reaction.
Since your signature is likely to be difficult to read, type your name down a couple of lines so that your reader knows who is writing to them. Enclosures: (Below signature block) If you have included any further material _ a business card, a brochure, a price sheet, whatever _ list the number of items and describe each. Finally, proofread, proofread, and proofread again. While a friend might excuse even the worst spelling and grammar, a business letter is often your first (and maybe only) chance to make an impression _ it needs to be impeccable.