Nobody liked your project idea, so we are not going to give you any funding. The first version is a weaker statement, emphasizing facts not directly relevant to its point. The second version provides the information in a simple and direct manner. But you don’t need to be an expert on style to know that the first phrasing is diplomatic and respectful (even though it’s less concise) as compared with the second version, which is unnecessarily harsh and likely to provoke a negative reaction.
To save your reader time and to call attention to your strengths as a candidate, state your objective directly at the beginning of the letter. Example: I am seeking a position as a manager in your Data Center. In such a management position, I can use my master’s degree in information systems and my experience as a programmer/analyst to address business challenges in data processing. If you have been referred to a company by one of its employees, a career counselor, a professor, or someone else, mention that before stating your job objective.