The second version is clearer and thus preferable. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. What if you are the head of the Global Finance Team? You may want to get your message across without calling excessive attention to the fact that the error was your team’s fault. The passive voice allows you to gloss over an unflattering point—but you should use it sparingly.
If your intent is to persuade the recipient in some way, whether it's to invest money, give you a reference, hire you, partner with you, or fix an issue, create a compelling case for your cause. If, for example, you want the reader to sponsor a charity event, identify any overlap with their company’s philanthropic goals. Convince the reader that helping you would be mutually beneficial, and you will increase your chances of winning their support. Keep your closing paragraph to two sentences. Simply reiterate your reason for writing and thank the reader for considering your request.