Opening Part: The first paragraph of the mail writing must state the introduction of the writer. It also contains the previous correspondence if any. Main Part: This paragraph states the main idea or the reason for writing. It must be clear, concise, complete, and to the point. Concluding Part: It is the conclusion of the business letter. It shows the suggestions or the need of the action. The closing of the letter shows the expectation of the sender from the recipient. Always end your mail by courteous words like thanking you, warm regards, look forward to hearing from your side etc.
The second version is clearer and thus preferable. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. What if you are the head of the Global Finance Team? You may want to get your message across without calling excessive attention to the fact that the error was your team’s fault. The passive voice allows you to gloss over an unflattering point—but you should use it sparingly.