Nobody liked your project idea, so we are not going to give you any funding. The first version is a weaker statement, emphasizing facts not directly relevant to its point. The second version provides the information in a simple and direct manner. But you don’t need to be an expert on style to know that the first phrasing is diplomatic and respectful (even though it’s less concise) as compared with the second version, which is unnecessarily harsh and likely to provoke a negative reaction.
Even though you are using a personal account, choose an email address that looks professional. Your best bet is some variation on first initial, last name (e.g., [email protected].com) or first name, last name [email protected].com). Here's how to set up an email account just for your job search. Tips for Writing a Compelling Cover Letter. Get information on how to write a cover letter, including what to include in your cover letter, cover letter format, targeted cover letters, and cover letter samples and examples.