Letter Paragraphs: Professional letter paragraphs should be relatively concise. The first paragraph may include a brief friendly opening and a concise explanation of your reason for writing. The second paragraph (and any subsequent paragraphs) should expand upon your reason for writing. The final paragraph should restate your reason for writing and, if applicable, state your plan of action (or request some type of action be taken by the reader).
The second version is clearer and thus preferable. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. What if you are the head of the Global Finance Team? You may want to get your message across without calling excessive attention to the fact that the error was your team’s fault. The passive voice allows you to gloss over an unflattering point—but you should use it sparingly.